Love

The need for human touch compassion and love Innate in our psyche before conception the human soul seeks it out like a needle in a vein To avoid sorrow and death instinct is erased masked with false fantasies Like blind bats flying in darkness nothing is heard except silent echoes... my heart beating against a steel drum pounding louder and louder until darkness swallows the light and my heart beats no more

River that flows forever

As long as some suffer, the river flows forever
As long as there is pain, the river flows forever
As strong as a smile could be, the river will flow forever
As long as your with me in my heart, we'll ride the river together

So I Say Goodbye

I'm going into this not knowing what I'll find
But I decided to follow my heart and abandon my mind
And if there be pain I know that I gave my all
And it's better to have loved and loss than not to love at all
In the morning I may wake to smile or maybe cry
But first to those of my past I must say goodbye

When I was a man

When I Was a Man

Indigenous roots grow thickly in the fog

Wooded jungles, mountains, and valleys

Natural beauty isolated with peace

Angels play their instruments with fresh air

Love washes over soft hearts of man

You don't see me

Southern genome saturated in rich bohemian flair

Imagine my exotic blond flower

See beyond my soul through my blue eyes

Play your guitars and beat your drums

Perceive my beauty no longer with prejudice

A familiar lover or two or several

Reminisced by a letter

Dual genders fighting for my soul

Wanting love to fill empty voids

Blue eye gringa catches his sight

His skin like the contaminated muddy rivers

Inundation of waves over mountain tureens

Cause a tumultuous desire for love and death

You don't see me

Beauty becomes endemic like a clouded forest

Riding a road that can vanish into nothingness

Fear courses the mind and invades my veins

Spiritual natives burn incense to guide my paths

Recreation of oneself transport the soul into many lives

The Formula

The undefined terms
point the way to
the line that never ends
into a plane of nothingness.
The geometrical spiral
warms the center of my radius
and quivers the diameter through
my circumference and wets the parameter
in a way...
In a way a line has no beginning or end
like the circle of my soul
searching how to use pie to
my advantage.
Studying each dimension
the area measures the interior
of my veins
pulsing through each square unit
of my plane
Increasing the volume of passion
rising with each cubic unit
until I'm overflowing into
obtuse positions
that invite complementary vertical angles
that will keep you strait for hours
Eventually the vertex of our love will come to an endpoint.
180 degrees later the light of our ray will fade
into another dimension.

Who am I and Where am I going?

.Dating


I am sick of it

I have evolved into a different person

I use to be the bitter girl who kept every pound of baggage on my back

Always I would choose the exact same guy as the last

Trust never became an option and intimacy an afterthought



Time goes by

I compare my experience from the last

I ask myself, What did I learn?

Not enough

I use to be the sexual girl who stayed emotionally detached

And I would cry myself to sleep because I stayed alone

No more will I give up my power

I will own my bounty and only share it when I want to



Time goes by

I compare my experience from the last

I ask myself, What did I learn?

A little more

I use to be the needy girl who gave so much of myself I became lost

I would give, they would take, and I remained empty

Self worth is a trait that was eventually discovered

I made a vow to always will put myself first



Time goes by

I compare my experience from the last

I ask myself, What did I learn?

I become more aware

I am the strong minded girl who can see bull shit a mile away

And tell you how bad it smells and how fast it’s coming

I am consciously aware and can show my vulnerability when needed

I exchanged negative cognition with positive spirituality



Dating

I can deal with it

Understanding the energy I put into the universe

Makes me more aware of whom I will attract

Scum and perverts will always be there, but the ones

Who feel my energy will come at me in on my tune

Synchronizing our vibes of energy will create funnels of

Friendships and possible romance

My mind stays wide open and my heart put out its welcome mat

My soul receives waves of energy all around my being and

I accept with a new openness and understanding of

Who I am and the possibilities of what I can become.

Wasted Life

Wasted Life

Are the ancient Myans right?

Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce, & the history channel have made me 100% paranoid about the remainder 2 of human life.

2012 is supposed to be the beginning of the end
And I have yet to begin to live.

What have I been doing the last 32 years?
Sleeping

Under a spell of a nurturing society the matrix of my reality is a delusion.

The pictures of my minds eye has been nothing more than illusions

8 mm shutters of imagined bliss and pain has left my soul lost.

Lost from love, true healthy love I am still searching…

Empty wastelands that surround my being like a violent sand storm,
I can no longer see my future because my past keeps the compass needle excited!
Have I wasted precious time trying to find my way?

The world is ending, the sky is falling, and my life seems futile

I had dreams and aspirations to be the next hot guest on Oprah’s couch and now even her show is ending.

Maybe the Myans are right,
And I should anxiously wait for the end of the world,
So I can finally write my last chapter to the fictional book I have been too lazy to write when I had time.

Poor, Poor...

My poor poor pussy
Bald, cold, and alone

Why can’t she have a revolution and protest the men
And keep her afro-centric bush letting it grow wild and free?
Free from the cares or worries of what men think is sexy
She is sexy because the mind attached knows she is sexy
But she does not look sexy
She needed to be groomed.
Like a small Yorkie or Poodle
She needed attention
So a makeover was done.
I trimmed, cut, shaved, creamed, and waxed
Waxed…and waxed..and waxed again
Each shred of my innocents yanked from its roots

My poor pussy is no longer warm and secure
Bald, cold, and alone

Held tightly by soft cotton hugs from Victoria’s 5 for 25
Secretly vulnerable but smooth my pussy can now get the stamp of approval
From a society who said women are only sexy when bald down there
No more hair to bare she stays bald down there
She fell into society’s trap like a lost sheep looking for her shepherd
By insisting women are only sexy when bald down there

So what if she flexed her muscles so big she pushed out not one, but two babies
She has been taken for granted, used, and sometimes abused in a good way
She brings me pleasure and warns me with pain
She survived cancer and still revived with a strength my sexy could only bring back
She is strong and demands respect from the men who only sees her sexy when she becomes…

My poor poor pussy
bald, cold, and alone.

Dear Momma

Momma

I understand you were only a senior in high school
and you were still pro choice and allowed me…
sovereignty to develop in your womb and expand your 4’11” body.
It could have been worse- that is what I tell myself
She never traded me for cheap ready rock
She never pimped me to her habitual traffic of men
She never locked me in closets or beat me with wire hangers

What did she do?
She inflected 16 years of exploited self hatred
Never heard “I love you daughter”
Never received a hug or kiss for just being me
Never felt I had purpose or reason to be on this earth
Never spoke about life or what to expect from men
Never was I elevated to love myself or anyone else

Neglect left me buried alive
My soul smothered with hate
I had to learn how to breathe on my own
16 years young a tourist in my own life
Trying to fill empty voids with false love
My body became my tool to trick my mind I was wanted
No longer discarded I found worth with my pussy
“The power of p-u-s-s-y that’s why every mutha fucka in the world dress fly…”
Co-dependant, sadistic, self loathing, and degrading affairs is all I knew how to erect
over and over and over
the cycle was passed on like a useless baton
from grand mother, to mother, to daughter

My bricks are brittle stones held together with empty hope
overflowing with rejection and desolation
my foundation is weak and cracked
slowly sinking into a dark place in my heart
I wait for angels to save me
to love me
to want me
to find my inner Yahweh
to bring me into existence in what exists.
No more will I cry;
Why don’t you love me?
What did I do to make you reject me?
Through my tears I now see clearly
I had to learn to finally love me for me

Bitch Nigga'z

Bitch nigga’z…

I mean that for any man
of all races, ages, and creed
I don’t understand the new breed
that spawn from young mothers wombs
with fatherless dreams haunting his psyche

Bitch nigga’z

I don’t understand the new wave of sensitivity
Along with the useless soap opera emotions
that travels through his spine
This is what makes him cry and whine;
like a small baby who needs his binky
Whenever a woman or man hurts his feelings
He gets upset and pouts like a child

Bitch nigga’z

He tells on you to whomever he thinks
will give a damn about what was said
and gossips about it like the average woman
They claim they are a man and should be treated as such
But in reality their balls have shriveled into really small peanuts
Not the salty kind that sometimes make a good snack
The stale bland kind that leave a nasty after- smack
of bitch-ass-ness that slowly seeps through his pours
Reeking of a foul stench that makes my eyes sore
I can no longer see you because you become invisible
A waste of space;
a disgrace to all I love that is beautiful:
A strong man who can not take every little thing said so personal
Instead he should flip it around and claim his crown
Stand firm and cipher any situation around

Bitch NIGGA’Z.